First up is The Writer's Edge. Their statement is: "The only publishers who receive this service are those who have requested it--those who plan to use it to simplify their process of reviewing and selecting new manuscripts. These decision makers welcome these information sheets that give them a concise, organized view of your work."

While they do not submit your work directly to publishers, they do provide a summary of your work that available for publishers to review. With The Writer's Edge, you submit three chapters, a one page synopsis, and a fee of $95. They review your work and if they deem it "publishable" they will submit it to the list of over 75 publishers that they work with (here is their list). If any are interested, they will contact you directly.

Another option is Christian Manuscript Submissions. Their process is similar to The Writer's Edge, but the cost is $98 for it to be available for six months. They have a tool on their website for creating the proposal, and thei list of publishers (found here) is just over 80 long. There is some duplication with The Writer's Edge, so you would want to look closely at both options before choosing one.

They also offer other services such as editing, critiquing, as well as information on self publishing and finding an agent.

Well, good luck, and let me know if you have any other suggestions or ideas.

- chris mooney

Dear Writer,

[caption id="attachment_8" align="alignright" width="206" caption="Author Gary Chapman"][/caption]

Would you like to be part of an exciting writing venture with Dr. Gary Chapman, best-selling author of The Five Love Languages? Dr. Chapman and I are pulling together a new book and we’d like to invite you to be a part of it.

You may be familiar with me as the editor of the Christian segment of A Cup of Comfort series of inspirational stories published by Adams Media. Or you may connect me with the Life Savors series published by Tyndale House. Whether you’re one of the wonderful writers who has inspired and encouraged others through these compilations, or whether you’re new to my projects, I’d like to hear your story.

A number of Dr. Chapman’s books have dealt with the theme of love in relationships – not only how to effectively communicate love but also learning to become a loving person. Now Dr. Chapman would like to give others an opportunity to share the lessons they’ve learned on their love journeys. We are compiling a collection of these stories in a volume entitled, Love Lessons: Everyday Acts of Love That Change Lives, which Bethany House will publish in Spring, 2009. We will accept 40-50 stories at 1,200 to 2,000 words each.

The stories should demonstrate a progression in your learning to love authentically and how you learned to become a more loving person. Most of the stories should focus on growth in relationships, including: married couples, family members, parenting, friendships, and work relationships. But they may also relate to a neighbor, or even a homeless person.

The story should include descriptive character development, especially related to the soul; how emotions, perspective, and quality of life changed based on the interactions between people. We prefer stories to be in first person, based on your personal experience of growth. But “as-told-to” stories will be considered. These stories do not have to include God in them and, if they do, God should not be the focus. We will be appealing to both the Christian and secular markets with the message of how to love others from a human perspective, so please eliminate Christian jargon. At this time, we are not accepting previously published submissions.

If your story is selected you will receive a one-time fee of $100 upon publication. We would like to receive all submissions by August 31, but would hope that most will be in by the beginning of that month. We will also judge what we consider to be the three best stories – with awards of $500, $300, and $200, respectively. The selection and editorial process will take a considerable amount of time and we will not be able to let you know if your story is chosen until mid November, so we ask for your patience. We will let you know as soon as we know.

Also, include all relevant contact information on the actual manuscript, which may be attached in an email: names, full address, email address, social security number and phone number, and brief bio. Your social security number can be received by regular mail if you prefer, but it will only be used for payment purposes. Please address all queries and manuscripts to my associate, Jeanette Littleton, at lovelessons@earthlink.net. Please feel free to pass this letter along to others you think might be interested in submitting to this book. Thank you so much for considering participating in this exciting and groundbreaking project.

Blessings to you and yours,

James Stuart Bell
Editor for Dr. Gary Chapman

Apparently, I'm in good company. I was reading an article on cnn.com recently, and it stated that most married women find it attractive when their spouses share the household chores. I'm sure all of the men reading this right now are groaning. No one likes to do thankless work, but for some reason, it seems to fall mostly on the shoulders of women. The Council on Contemporary Families reports that men only do 30 percent of the housework. Maybe that's why women appreciate it so much when they get a little help.

The good news for women is that researchers say men do more now than in the past. For example, in 1976, men did six hours of housework per week; in 2005, that had increased to about 13 hours. Now here's the good news for the guys. According to an expert quoted in the article, a more equitable division of household duties may lead to more intimacy in the bedroom.

"When a man does housework, it feels to the woman like an expression of caring and concern, which then physically reduces her stress," says Joshua Coleman, a San Francisco-area psychologist and author of "The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework. A guy can be completely stressed out and want to have sex to burn it off, but women are not wired like that." Instead, he says, women need to feel relaxed in order to feel sexy -- and it's hard to unwind when there are chores to be done and a husband who's oblivious to them.

Maybe doing household duties isn't so "thankless" after all. Men who help out will get rewarded with a less irritable (and less stressed) spouse -- and they may get lucky more often.

In his previous work, Dr. Chapman brought to light the different ways people express love, but in Love as a Way of Life he reveals that every aspect of your life can be improved by placing love at the center of everything you do. As Rick Warren does in The Purpose Driven Life, Chapman illuminates the profound influence of spiritual insight and understanding on our daily lives.

Using real-life anecdotes, he examines the obstacles and misunderstandings that undermine relationships, and provides quizzes and exercises to help readers evaluate their own strengths and weaknesses. Rich in wisdom and inspiration, Love as a Way of Life is an invaluable guide to creating fulfilling and satisfying relationships and reaping the joys of living a love-driven life.

You will have to click through a few places to find all of these but it is pretty straight forward. Have a look.

Here are the five languages from the book The Five Love Languages of Children written by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, M.D.

• Quality time
• Words of affirmation
• Gifts
• Acts of service
• Physical touch

Now these don’t only apply to children, they are his love languages for anyone and everyone. So it is a great tool to use in finding your own love language as well as your kids (and partners too!)

My personal opinion is that we all need and hopefully show some of these 5 languages. I like spending time with those I love, good time, not just being in the same room, but engaging in positive actions.   I need encouragement and praise.   I like getting things from people, especially people I care about, not that it has to be a diamond necklace. I would be just as happy with a bookmark or a flower picked from the yard, it shows that person took time to think about you and wanted to make you smile.    I really appreciate when someone does something to make my load lighter even more so being a new mom.   And I definitely can’t live without the warmth of a hug.

But as I look a little deeper, I see in myself that I do speak and hear some of these languages more then others. It has a lot to do with what is happening in my world and who it’s happening with. But I would have to say that quality time is my big one. Maybe that is true for most people, I know it is a huge one with kids. Well younger kids that is. I recall being a teenager and what a tough age it is for many of us.   Back then, words of affirmation would have been on the top of my list from my family since at fifteen I mainly wanted to spend time in my room on the phone talking about boys.     With my 9-month-old son, I see he has a top three: quality time, words of affirmation and physical touch.   Give him a year and gifts will be right up there! A   cts of service takes time to appreciate and most kids don’t get that until they are older.

This is the kind of book that can help any parent not just someone with a ‘difficult’ child (since they are all difficult at some point). We should all take more time to listen to what our kids are saying and find their love languages. Not all children like to run around hugging and saying I love you. I know some that do and I know some that don’t. And that is okay.   You can have two kids growing up in the same home and yet they have personalities that are night and day. It is that nature vs. nurture debate, which I full heartedly believe. We are born with certain traits and we learn others from our families and surroundings. Even a newborn baby has a personality all their own, something I did not believe until I had my own.

As a parent, caregiver, relative, etc. learning how kids express their love and how they are most receptive to it is an invaluable gift. What relationship couldn’t stand some improvement? As children grow, our relationships with them change so we need to be present and alert to how we can grow and adapt with them.  Just think, reading a book like this is a great act of service to start with!

Then you need to understand how Love Languages can help you to make those around you feel more loved and appreciated.

This approach can be really powerful not only for your intimate partner, family and close friends, but also for colleagues and peers.

I'd love to have your feedback and ideas for future posts.

To your success and happiness ...

Caroline

Also, new this month: Tye Tribbet & GA offers Stand Out. And that it does!

In Christianity Today, Gary Chapman has an article on what he calls Fowl Play.  He lists four negative communication patterns he calls the dove, the hawk, the owl, and the ostrich.  Take a look at the article and see which of the four negative styles you may communicate with.  Then, have your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or child tell you which you tend to practice.  You may also want to grade them back, but be careful.

Click here to go to the article......Fowl Play by Gary Chapman.....

Does anyone else hear 'Who' in their head when reading that title?

"Oh! that you could turn your eyes towards the napes of your necks, and make but an interior survey of your good selves."   -William Shakespeare, "Coriolanus"

I have to admit that truly trying to know myself is very difficult, and not something I enjoy at all. In times of self discovery I am tempted to focus mainly on my faults and shortcomings rather than my gifts and talents. Focus on our faults is essential to overcoming them, but we must not exclude the gifts which God has chosen to bestow on us in order that we may grow them and use them in a manner that gives glory to Almighty God.

Before we can ever truly accept and love another person, we must first understand ourselves and our own personalities. As an example, my primary fault is passion. I tend towards extremes of emotion. When excited I am fun and gregarious and contagious to other people. When angry everyone within reach or shouting distance had better watch out! Knowing this is beneficial, particularly in my relationship with Papasully. Papsully is not nearly as volatile as I am, and is a stabilizing factor in my life. Also, before marriage I was able to talk about the issues this fault in me causes in my life and make sure that he could handle that sort of wife. Fortunately Papasully has a forceful personality and has no problem telling me when I am out of line and stopping me from looking before I leap!

Knowing myself is an area that I need to spend more time on.  I believe this is a life-long process, as we change and learn and grow.  The person I am today is different that when I was a newlywed and different than I will be when the children leave home.  Please give me your recommendations on resources.

My favorite books for getting to know yourself (and your loved ones) are “The Four Temperaments” by Fr. Conrad Hock and “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman.

“O Holy Spirit, descend plentifully into my heart. Enlighten the dark corners of this neglected dwelling and scatter there Thy cheerful beams.” -St. Augustine

You may think you already know your primary love language. Then again, you may have no clue. The following profile will help you know for certain which love language is yours.

The profile consists of 30 pairs of statements. You can only pick one statement in each pair which best represents your desire. Read each pair of statements, and then, in the right hand column, circle the letter that matches up with the statement you choose.

Allow at least 15 – 30 minutes to complete the profile. (Hehe it took me about 5.) Go back and count the number of times you circled each individual letter. See the end of the profile for results.

 The Wife's Profile

Those are just a sample ten...but if you do all 30, you get a good idea of what you would like from your spouse. And if your spouse takes it - you'll know what they want from you!

Here's a snippet for

The Husband's Profile:

#10: The Indispensable Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson -- Because sometime we just take ourselves to seriously.

#9: Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman -- Chapman identifies 5 ways we give and receive love. This is a must for all couples.

#8: Alexander and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Voirst -- Why a kids book? Because some days are just like that.

#7: Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore-- True story of what happens when the worlds of an art-dealer and a homeless man collide.

#6: How to Give Your Faith Away by Paul E. Little -- Taught me that evangelism doesn't have to be something that is difficult and that it can be a part of my ever day life.

#5: Search For Significance by Robert S. McGee -- Helped me realize that my worth as a person is based upon what God thinks of me not others.

#4: To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee -- Lee's Pulitzer winning portrayal of life in a small southern town during the depression. Oh the movie is also good but read the book first.

#3: The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning -- Manning emphasizes the unfavored grace of God. Essentially we are all ragamuffins.

#2: Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges -- First time I realized that my faith should effect my daily life.

#1:The Bible -- If you have not read the entire Bible you should. Currently I am using the English Standard Version (ESV) translation.

Well, to all the readers out there is your turn. Compose your own list or put your response in the comments. I'm always looking for a good book to read.

Research shows that babies who are held, hugged and kissed develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact. Clearly, physical touch is big part of communicating emotional love.

What is your reaction to someone who is crying? Naturally, you’d go over and give them a hug. If one of your friends is upset and complaining about something to you, a pat on the back seems appropriate. In times of celebration, we hug and kiss each other.

What it is: Even though we are talking about marriage, physical touch does not necessarily mean sex. It is also kissing, hugging, touching, holding hands, a foot massage, etc. Guys may think that their primary love language is sex, but ask yourself this: if your needs for having sex often are met, do you like that your spouse touch, kiss and hug you often otherwise? If the answer is not a resounding “yes!” most likely your primary love language is not sex.

When I attended a lecture by Yassir Fazaqa (and some other well known Imams), he mentioned the three things men like most: 1) sex, 2) doing all else but sex, 3) massages. So, sisters....if you want to please your husband, give him a nice ten minute massage inshaAllah :o) (And brothers, as Yasir Birjas said, “Sometimes, just take the massage and walk away [without it leading to anything else].”

The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam once came to ‘Aa`isha to kiss her. She said, “I’m fasting.” The Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said, so? I’m fasting too. And then he kissed her.[1]

This part of the book was really interesting to me:            

The male is physically pushed to have sexual release on a somewhat regular basis. For the female, sexual desire is rooted in her emotions, not her physiology. There is nothing physically that builds up and pushes her to have intercourse. If she feels loved and admired and appreciated by her husband, then she has a desire to be physically intimate with him. But without the emotional closeness, she may have little physical desire.

Tips if your Spouse’s Primary Love Language is Physical Touch

1.       Walk up to your spouse and say, “Have I told you lately that I love you?” Take her in your arms and hug her wile you rub her back. “You are the greatest!” (Resist the temptation to rush to the bedroom). Untangle yourself and move on to the next thing.

2.       While your spouse is seated, walk up behind her and give her a shoulder massage. Continue for five minutes unless she begs you to stop.

3.       Initiate sex by giving your spouse a foot massage. Continue to other parts as long as your spouse seems pleased by it.

4.       Riding down the road together, reach over and touch your spouse on the leg, stomach, arm, hand or.... If he or she says “stop!” by all means, put on the brakes.

5.       When your spouse comes home, meet him at the door, give salaam to him and a big hug. (This should be done every day....Also, ask him how work was. If he doesn’t want to discuss it much, let him go and unwind while you prepare a cool drink for him.)

6.       Wrap a ribbon around a massage oil bottle and give it to your spouse with a note that says they are in for a 30 minute full body massage at [whatever time if convenient for them].

What it is: Doing things you know your spouse would like you to do. Acts of service are expressing your love to your spouse by serving her and doing things for her.

Acts of service take thought, planning, time, effort and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.

If we look at the lifestyle of the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, we know that he helped out at home. He, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, was an ideal husband. One time, the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam wanted to help Safiyya radiyallahu ‘anha get on a camel, so he knelt on the floor so that Safiyya could climb onto his leg and get on the camel.[1] Men can try to incorporate this example by opening car doors for their wives. It seems like such a simple gesture (and maybe stupid to some men), but if the husband just does it with a sincere smile, he’ll get some serious brownie points :o)

On that note, it’s interesting how we slowly drop doing all of the things we did when we were newly weds. Maybe it’s because we have drifted into a secure zone where we feel that those things aren’t necessary to prove our love, or maybe it’s just because we’re so busy that we don’t remember small gestures...but we should remember to always try and keep the spark in our marriages.

In marriage, we cannot demand things of our spouse. If you feel that you know he loves you when he changes the baby’s diaper, don’t demand that he do it.

Tips if your Spouse’s Primary Love Language is Acts of Service

1.       Ask your spouse to make a list of ten things that he or she would like for you to do during the next month. Then ask your spouse to prioritize them 1-10 (1 being most important). Use this list to plan your strategy for a month of love.

2.       While your spouse is away, get the kids to help you with some act of service for him. When he returns, he’ll be in for a surprise!

3.       Do some major acts of service like washing the car, cooking a meal, painting a bedroom, washing the deck, and then post a sign that reads, “To [spouse’s name], with love.” And sign your name.

4.       Periodically ask your spouse, “If I could do one special act of service this week, what would you request?”

I recently read a great book titled "Love as a way of life". EVERYONE needs to read this book.  If we would read it and apply some of these principles to our lives, it can be life changing and actually help make this world a better place.

Book: Love As A Way Of Life

Author: Dr. Gary Chapman

Summary: The author of the perennial bestseller The Five Love Languages examines how a lifestyle of love can lead to deeper satisfaction in relationships and life goals. Eye-opening self tests, practical ideas for building daily habits of love, and inspiring examples guide readers in putting love to work in their daily interactions.

Cover art:

Author Bio: Gary Chapman is the author of twenty-five books, including the New York Times bestseller The Five Love Languages, with more than 4 million copies in print. His daily radio program, A Love Language Minute, is broadcast on more than 100 stations nationwide. Chapman, a graduate of Moody Bible Institute, Wheaton College, Wake-Forest University, and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, serves on the pastoral staff at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina

This book can be purchased online at:  Amazon.com